Not Fair

I've been in a funk lately. I've been so depressed and uninspired. Well, I usually get inspired when I'm depressed, but I've been too depressed that I can't even put that inspiration into art or writing. 

I'm beyond angsty artsy kid....and that's sad. 

I haven't even written a blog in forever. The last two posts were depressing. This sucks!

I really want my own place. It's horrible not having your own bedroom to escape to. It's bad just not having your own place where everything is yours and you can just relax. I need to find an apartment.

I'm living with Travis and his mom and it's not fun. Granted she lives upstairs, so it's not like I'm trying to watch Nip/Tuck while she's flipping the channel over to the Bachelor (blech). We have two tv's down here, our own living room, bar, bedroom. But still, none of it is mine. All of my things are still in boxes in the garage because there is nowhere to put them because it will clash with the clean, modern look of Trav's bedroom. Ugh. I'm all about things modern, but for instance, somewhere like my living room would be clean and modern. My room would be girly-ish and slightly cluttered.

I'm trying to find a roommate, but it's hard since I don't know anybody and don't really know how to go about finding a roommate that isn't a creeper.

Well, I'm off. Hopefully things will get better and I'll stop hating myself for some reason.

Lily Allen

It's Not Me, It's You

Like Eating Glass

So the other night Travis and I decided to go on a "corny date" after driving all the way to Kansas to find out that Alex was sick. I don't know why Travis didn't just call him the day before, but anyway. We've been waiting for Revolutionary Road. I know that isn't exactly a date movie, but it doesn't matter because it's supposed to be a damn good movie.

Notice I said, "supposed to be"

We decided to go to Olive Garden for dinner. There isn't a more perfect place for a corny dinner and movie date. I also had a gift card that was given to me for Christmas. I always end up with a stack of the most random gift cards. 

Alex had warned us that it's a depressing movie, but we already knew that. Neither Travis or me are willing to settle for a normal life. It's my biggest fear to get married, wake up and go to work every day, have kids and let that be it. We're both pretty ambitious, me more than Trav. He's teetering on the brink of just giving up.

So at dinner it was brought up, and turned into this hour and a half long angry conversation that involved us stopping to smile each time the waitress came up. It annoys me sometimes how Travis thinks everything should just be handed to him.

I know he'll work for what he wants, but he doesn't think he should have to. It bothers me when he says he's going to dead by the time he's thirty and he'll never be worth remembering. 

He has absolutely nothing to de depressed about. I can't even really think of anything else to say without getting really really annoyed.

To cut it short, we ended up not seeing the movie due to already depressing ourselves.

Ugh.

Hospital Bed Crawl

I hate being sick! 

Travis has two days off in a row.

My car is finally fixed.

There is money in my bank account and numerous gift cards from Christmas that have yet to be spent.

I don't have school for another week.

Magically, everywhere I was wanting to get a job is hiring.

....and I'm too sick to get out of bed.

The Hush Sound

Goodbye Blues

Welcome To Reality

I don't find myself to be the girl who looks like she would play video games.

But I do.

Usually it's just games like The Sims. I also really really really love Grand Theft Auto. Well mainly just 3 & 4. When I moved in with Travis and noticed Bioshock sitting on the shelf next to his PS3 I asked him about it. 

Now let me start by saying I love all things from the '40s and '50s, zombie-like creatures, and horror. So when Travis told me it was a survival horror game based in the '50s where crazy almost dead people are trying to kill you, I figured I'd give it a try. 

Holy crap, it's fricken awesome. 

I never thought I'd be so into a game. Usually when I play video games I just do it for fun when I'm bored, but with Bioshock, when I don't have anything to do I'm playing it. I'll end up playing it for a couple hours at a time before I realize how long I've been playing. 

I'm officially a girly video-game loving nerd.

And that's okay.

Adolescents

The Adolescents

Oh! Darling

Does anyone else have a thing for people from India?

Kansas City has been fun so far. Last night, as the snow was melting Travis and I went over to Lawrence, Kansas. All my life I guessed Kansas would be one of those states with absolutely nothing (not like I have much room to talk, I'm from MS) but Lawrence is awesome. 

We saw Gran Torino and The Wrestler. Both were good, I preferred Gran Torino. I dislike both Clint Eastwood and Mickey Rourke. Mickey Rourke is just a slimy old cheeseball, ew. Gran Torino was funny, I doubt it was meant to be funny, but most people in the theater laughed out loud at many scenes. It's mainly due to Clint Eastwood's igorant, racist main character. Too bad people are actually like that (My grandfather....). Travis swears The Wrestler will get best film of the year at the Oscars, but I doubt that. I'm personally rooting for Slumdog Millionaire. 

I absolutely loved that film, and not just because I'm a huge Danny Boyle fan.

So onto other things besides films and the Oscar's because my friends and I have been arguing over who will win what way more than I wish to argue about anything. I don't really care either way, the outcome of the Oscar's doesn't affect my life in any way, but I digress....

Last summer, Travis and his best friend Alex decided they would try out for American Idol. I despise the show and have never seen an episode, until now of course....unfortunately. They didn't make it to try out, they chose to leave and go to a Royals game instead.  They were interviewed though, both of them went just to have fun and act stupid like so many people do each year. Well, their interview ended up on the main page of Americanidol.com

That's one hell of a thing to brag about, especially since both of them are dressed like pretentious d-bags and talking about how they are going to 'hump across America'

Yep, that's the guy I wanna spend my life with. The one who talked about humping on American Idol. 

I'm going to back to watching Sunshine (another rad Danny Boyle film)

The Beatles

Abbey Road

Hammers and Strings

A screw driver has never been so handy....

My dad bought me a tool set for Christmas because "You never know when you may need one." He already bought me a tool set when I first moved out on my own. 

Recently, just a few minutes ago actually, I had a dilemma. My jeans wouldn't tuck into my boots right. They just kind of bunched up inside the boots, and it feels really annoying. I looked to my right, sitting with all my stuff that I'm packing to go back to Mizzou is the tool set. 

I whipped out one of the screw drivers and used it to straighten my jeans out. 

You really never know when you might need one.

Jack's Mannequin

The Glass Passenger

PDA

First, let me say, I love Interpol. 

No wait, I fucking love Interpol.

Seeing them live was probably the best thing that happened to me in '08. It was a pretty bad year. Oh but getting back with Travis was definitely the first. But Interpol is a close second.

I'm done. If you've ever listened to them, I shouldn't have to explain why I love them.

Something else I love?

Nip/Tuck

The 6th season started tonight and Nip/Tuck is still one of the best shows on television. My freshman year of high school was when the show first aired and I first started watching. I'd tell my mom I was going to bed, then creep up to my room, turn my tv down as low as it would go and turn on Nip/Tuck. My sophomore year my mom walked in one night while I was watching, Just as Christian Troy was having sex...with...somebody. She turned the tv off and told me to stop watching the show. I turned it back on as soon as I heard her go downstairs. 

It's sounds like I was in my room doing drugs or something, I was just watching a show. I'm not a very big couch potato, I don't have much tv that I watch. Gossip Girl and Nip/Tuck. I have to have my Chuck Bass/Christian Troy fix. This season of Nip/Tuck looks like it's going to be the best. I'm excited. 

Why am I in love with assholes? My boyfriend is an asshole...but in a good way.

Is that possible?

One last thing that I love:

This guy: Writing Dirty 

I can't help it, I love the way he writes.    : )

Interpol

Turn On The Bright Lights