Don't Stay In Bed

Let me say first, I've always settled for asshole guys who aren't very attractive. I've never felt I was worthy of a good looking guy with a great personality. Of course, looks aren't everything. At all. I'm personality first, but it never hurts to just once in your life have someone who is just great to look at.

Here is where R comes in.

R was a crazy redhead, theater major, bartender. He was insanely good looking, I could sit next to him and stare at him all day. R thought I was gorgeous. I have never seen myself that way, and never thought a guy I would find hot would ever find me attractive in any way. I hate my self esteem, or lack thereof.

I didn't know anything about R. At all. He came and met up with me, this is where I learned about his job, major, and other aspects of his life. He too was 24. He was so funny and I noticed how good we looked standing next to each other. The girl in me immediately wanted some fairy tale relationship. We saw a movie together and messed around in the theater like a couple of teenagers. After making out in his car like it was a movie I told him to come back to my place. Because, that's how it goes in the movies.

I love making out, I could do it all day and never need anything else. We did just that, for a bit. Eventually it moved on to other things, oh it was amazing. My mind had been blown. Then after, he jumps up and pulls the whole "Oh look at the time..." move and gets dressed. I'm just sitting there watching him. I'd never done anything like that before. He told me I was a sweet girl and he felt like an asshole for having to leave so quickly, but he really needed to get back home. Considering he had work in a few hours and lived an hour away. I pretended to understand and told him goodbye.

I didn't hear from him again for a few weeks. He told me he'd met a girl he really liked and he was sorry, she was just so amazing and more his type than I was. I was heartbroken, but you can't hook up with a guy you hardly know on the first date and expect it to go somewhere. That's the first mistake so many girls make and I wasn't going to let it happen to me. So I just accepted it and moved on.

Until a month later. When he called out of nowhere and asked if he could come over. He said it didn't work out with the girl and he wanted to see me. I knew I shouldn't, Nick said I shouldn't, Travis said I was an idiot. Everybody was against it. I let him come over, and it was the worst night ever.

I'm listening to my friends from now on.

-YACHT